新與變

新與變 蘇穎睿牧師

假設你擁有像耶穌一般的神力，能醫百病，能起死回生，能以五餅二魚來餵飽五千人，能停息風暴，又能儆惡懲奸，也可以作各樣的神蹟。現在你來到香港進行宣教工作，你會作些什麼？你目睹這城市的黑暗面貌，惡勢力逞強、家庭問題、勞工剝削問題，你又見到黑社會的暴行、政治黑暗，貧富懸殊、教育制度和醫療制度失誤、新移民遭人白眼、老人家被棄。深信你會動了慈心，不忍心袖手旁觀，或許你先行清理政府，鏟除貪官污吏；又或你會企圖解決一些較大的問題，如住屋問題、經濟問題、剝削問題、醫療問題，大肆改革，務求使人人安居樂業，安定繁榮。又或者你會大派食物、加建房屋，改革教育，除去一切冗員，又使人人可以唸書、吃飯，又或者你會前往醫院叫重病的得痊愈，或到殯儀館去起死回生，使夫婦父子團圓。你更可以把所有壞人囚在監獄裡，務使這個城市成為一個秩序井然的社會，再沒有歧視、沒有罪惡，也沒有爭執，沒有眼淚。

但當我們細讀《福音書》，看耶穌的生平時，實在叫我們感到極失望和迷惑。這似乎不是耶穌所作的事情。耶穌擁有這樣的神力，然而整本《聖經》只記載了祂三十九個神蹟。耶穌似乎沒有使用祂的神力，甚而故意不彰顯祂的能力。事實上，在耶穌時代，當時的人面對的問題絕不比我們少，但耶穌似乎無意解決，以致猶太人依舊亡國，他們被羅馬人勞役，更談不上享有什麼「人權」。窮人仍舊貧窮，奴隸仍被人踐踏，飢餓的人仍舊捱餓，惡人仍然得逞，社會依然充滿了不義、不平、黑暗。為什麼耶穌無意去解決這些嚴重的問題呢？難怪猶太人發現這個所謂「彌賽亞」儼如一隻紙老虎時，他們就高聲喊叫「釘祂在十架上，釘祂在十架上。」因他們不能接受這樣一個無助、無能、無光彩的彌賽亞。

Philip Yansey在他那本名為 一書裡，引述了一段他與前蘇聯真理報主編的對話，那段話非常發人深省。那主編對Philip Yansey 說：「我們共產黨跟你們基督徒同樣有理想， 大家都渴望建立一個無私、無爭執、公平、仁愛、和平的社會。但我們作夢也想不到，經過七十四年來的實驗，我們竟在歷史上製造了史無前例最殘忍、最無人道的社會，現在想起來，這實驗全盤失敗了。我們曾鼓勵那些俄國人去捐錢給Chenobyl的同胞，但他們寧願花錢飲酒，也不加以援手！為什麼呢？我們只有一個結論：人心若不改變，一切法律制度也是枉然。我們不能拿著機關槍，硬要他人去做好人，這不是制度，也不是外在的問題，而是內心的問題。」這位主編的一席話真是一語道破。

耶穌的使命不是用強權、制度或暴力來建立天國，祂不是使用祂超然的能力來建立一個人間天堂，祂也不是藉神蹟來彰顯祂的異能，對耶穌來說，神蹟的重點不是異能，而是「信息」，神蹟就像個比喻，是個視覺上的比喻。約翰用來形容耶穌施行神蹟的字眼，英文譯作sign，意思是「表徵」、「標記」，即是說它是指著另一個意思的。就以耶穌所行的第一個神蹟為例，「以水變酒」這神蹟的重點不在於它超然的變化，而在於它所顯出的另一個屬靈的意義──耶穌來帶給我們新的紀元、新的開始、新的生命。就正如《聖經》說：「耶穌在門徒前另外行了許多神蹟，沒有記在這書上，但記這些事，要叫你們信耶穌是基督，是神的兒子，並且叫你們信了祂，就可以因祂的名得生命。」《約廿３０》

加油﹗﹗

這是對我自己說的。

這陣子有很多東西要做﹐要完成﹐但好像有點提不起勁。我現在每天早上上班之前﹐都從窗口望出去一下﹐看看天空﹐感受一下這是上帝給的一天﹐要好好的做﹐好好的利用時間。喜歡做Golden Care這份工﹐其中一個原因是能夠常常在外面﹐感受一下大自然(尤其是去遠一點的地方)﹐不用困在Office內﹐做起事來也能夠精神一點。

還記得Edmund和Eunice都分享過這一段經文﹕「起來吃吧﹗因為你當走的路甚遠。」

父神啊﹐求你保守。在我事奉你的事情上﹐在決定回香港的事情上﹐團契和教會的事情上﹐求你一一的拖帶。

Some thoughts these days...

Well, I'm on "holiday" now.... in the sense that I don't go to the sunday service in All Saints' in the month of January.

I don't like the idea of travelling to different churches, but I did it because I want to get exposed. After God answered my prayer, I know I need to help All Saints'. But in what sense? How? I talked to Rev Lee for several times already and I know he has a plan. While I don't doubt his intentions to rebuild the spirituality of the congregation, I don't know whether his plan works (I am not talking about this in a negative sense). I just don't know. He may be a bit optimistic than I do and that's all I can say. With God, anything is possible. At least I learn one thing from him and that is "patience". I'm sure that he has a lot more patience than any of us in the church does. Patience doesn't mean no action, but at the same time we need to wait for the result. God has His time to do things. It is always not easy for me to wait because I like to get things done immediately. As a lay person in church, my role is to support him and continue to pray for the church.

Edmund's mother is leading sunday school at the moment and around 20 people came. This is good news and a lot of new faces that we don't usually see showed up. I guess, except a few people, the congregation starts to wake up from its sleeping state. People seem to start to reflect and I'm quite sure they still love All Saints' church (the next question is whether they love God.... this needs to be addressed). Funny enough, when Edmund's mother asked what is the greatest commandment, someone answered to love your neighbour as yourself (ha! not love the Lord your God). I hope and pray that we can grow together in knowledge and in love. There are still a lot of problems but it will take a lot of time and caution to solve them.

As for fellowship, I think hard about how to expand our fellowship in number. Of course we don't want to sacrifice in quality. However, in my prayer, it seems to me that God thinks that we are not ready (not "salty" enough). We may be lacking in something... testimonies in our lives? courage? inclusiveness? maybe all of the above. I need to figure this one out so that we can help the fellowship to grow both spiritually and quantitatively.

給神的讚美

I composed this song last year around Sept, just before the baptism of Vincent's mother. I dedicated to those who are about to get baptized. I knew that I wanted to write a Cantonese song for a while, and thanks be to God, the Spirit touched me and I was able to write down my praise to God:

<給神的讚美>

心裡的相信 從這刻開始
回想起當初 未曾認識
但蒙神得寬恕賜給新生命
在你面前我衷心讚美

神你是我依靠﹐我心裡安寧
神你是我所有我全部救拯﹗
我當向主歌唱﹐渴想你的名
願這生成為你詩歌﹐最為動聽﹗

不懂得怎算 蒙你的看顧
蒙你的恩惠 沒法還清
但願從今只會醉心你的事
直到最後仍衷心讚美

神你是我依靠﹐我心裡安寧
神你是我所有我全部救拯﹗
我當向主歌唱﹐渴想你的名
願這生成為你詩歌﹐最為動聽﹗
(立志一生效法基督﹐求你引領)

Today I'm giving praise to God for all the wonders He has done for me, my brothers and sisters in Christ and my family. My grandmother in China now believes in God and refused to worship other idols.

Answer to my prayer

After I wrote down my prayer, the Lord answered me - to read about Abraham.

Usually when we read this passage in the Bible, we'd recall about the Lord calling Abram to leave his country, his people and his father's household and go to the land the Lord prepared for him. However, as I read on, I don't think this is what the Lord is trying to tell me to do. Instead, I read about Lot. When Abram and Lot decided to part, Abram let Lot to choose what he likes. Lot chose the land that is well-watered and like the garden of the Lord. He chose a place near Sodom. The problem is, this is actually a place that the Lord disliked.

As I read on about Sodom, Abraham pleaded the Lord for not destroying this place. The Lord said if there are ten righteous people, He would not destroy it.

Here are the messages I got. For myself, I believe this is not the time yet to leave, as I'm thinking like Lot because I want to choose the land that looks better and more fertile. This is what I want but not necessarily what the Lord wants. Nevertheless, All Saints' is in a condition in which if people do not repent and turn back to the Lord, He will still destroy it. God has mercy and he is still giving a chance. He has not abandoned the church yet. It is up to the congregation members to decide their future.

And the Lord also reminded me about one thing. If I struggle, I'm actually making people beside me to struggle as well. As I'm quite surprised why He answered me so quickly, I believe this is the reason. He doesn't want others to struggle with this problem (Thanks Eunice, for sharing the burden) and affect the ministry. Meanwhile, I'll continue to visit other churches and I hope I can bring back what I've learned to All Saints'. I'll also continue to pray for my parents, as I believe the most important thing for them is to experience God Himself and really get to know Him.

New year's prayer

O Lord, hear my prayer.
I'm in a deep struggle right now.
Seems to me that a lot of things are unknown in 2006.
I'm unsure about the future for myself, for All Saints', for my parents, and for other brothers and sisters.
But God, you know everything about me more than I do,
You made me strong when I was still an introvert,
You demonstrated the courage in me that I didn't believe I have,
You used me in ways that surprised me.
I need to praise the wonders that you've done,
I need to rely completely on you and let you rule over my life,
I need to cast all my worries and anxiety on you, for your yoke is easy.
Give me strength that I need everyday and protect me from trials.
Let me understand the true meaning of suffering,
Let me understand your will in what is happening around me,
Let me experience your grace in the best and worst of times.
In the name of Jesus, Amen.